Baby Benjamin our 4th Little Boy
As most know, I've had HELLP syndrome in 2 of my previous pregnancies which puts me in a high risk category. It's a strange category to be in when my pregnancies are fairly normal up until the very end. But, regardless, I live on a rural island and the doctors here refused to see me this go around and sent me straight to Oahu. So there I flew every month for my OB checks. It was a bit of a hassle but I knew if I had issues again, that Oahu was where I needed to be to safely deliver baby boy. My mom was an angel and watched the boys for me at least once a month for these trips, although because I was followed by high risk doctors as well, I often went 2 or even 3 times a month. Grateful to my mom for stepping in and helping as it was usually a full day away. I knew from the beginning I would have to "move" to Oahu at 36 weeks because of the flying regulations. This was the star of many sleepless nights leading up to my delivery. Insurance didn't cover anything besides my flight there (they wouldn't even cover my return flight because they said I wouldn't be pregnant and that's when my issues occur!). So to try to find housing for myself and all the kids was a nightmare, and a huge financial burden. We decided it would be better if I just went alone, while my mom and Chad took turns with the kids. Chad worked it out that he would work nights and my mom would have them on the days he worked his normal schedule. It was going to be tough! More then anything, I was borderline depressed that I would have to leave my babies behind for 3 weeks. I knew I would be terribly lonely after a few days there. The time came and I put my big girl panties on and said goodbye to my family, tears flowing only after I got out of sight so my boys didn't see me upset. I pushed it to the limit and flew over to Oahu the last day in my 36th week. The next day, Friday the 13th, I woke up feeling off. I laid around and enjoyed not taking care of 3 children which was amazing! I began to notice I was getting a headache accompanied with visual changes. That's a big red flag with my syndrome so I called my OB and she said to just go straight into L&D. Most logical people at this time would have called their spouse and suggest they get on a plane to come out, but me plus pregnancy is so far from logic. It's actually scary how illogical I am when I'm with child! So I told Chad to continue working but just to keep his phone on him and I would update him. It took a while to get my labs back but when I finally did around 2 p.m., my platelets had dropped since the day before when I got them checked and were right at the cut off where the anesthesiologist said she would put me under general if they dropped any lower. I waited to see the specialist for their work up and at that point I told Chad to go home and check airline tickets and pack a bag just in case. My poor, sweet husband did as I suggested. After the doctors came it was determined that I needed to deliver the baby(duh!), there was no point in waiting and I had just hit 37 weeks that day so baby would most likely fair fine. Things moved very quickly after that. I called Chad immediately and he had already booked a 4:00 flight. They started me on the dreaded Magnesium Sulfate because of my headache, which is a drug that I've had before that made me feel so incredibly sick. I would have to have it in my IV for 24 hours after delivery. I almost cried! My nurse tried to stall the doctors for me but they took me back to the OR as Chad was landing. The airport is only about 15 minutes from the hospital but it was 5:00 on a Friday and Honolulu traffic is insane. The nurse and anesthesiologist were amazing, they took pictures for me and kept me calm. They also kept Chad in the know via texts. Poor guy was sitting in a cab in traffic when they delivered Benjamin at 5:24. I waited for him to cry and it took a few beats but I heard a weak, stifled cry and breathed a sigh of relief. When the nicu team was working on him in the OR, they didn't say much which worried me. They did bring him over to me for a second so I could kiss him but I immediately noticed they hadn't wiped him at all and he had fluid coming from his nose and mouth and was purple. I asked what his apgar's were and the doctor said to me, "Don't worry, he's going to be fine." Super reassuring, Doc! And with that they rushed off with my baby. The same time as they left, I was given some drugs that put me right to sleep. Chad came in while they were sewing me up and kissed me hello and then went to see Benny. I slept through most of my recovery but Chad came in at one point and said Benjamin was having trouble clearing out his lungs and if he didn't work it out within an hour, he would be in nicu for the night. I was super worried even though I was reassured it's a very normal thing for a c-section baby to experience. I had had three c sections before this and that never was an issue, so to me, the fact that my baby was getting oxygen and suctioned out and wasn't in my arms was very upsetting. Chad went back and forth that evening between Benjamin and I and took pictures for me. He wasn't able to hold him which bummed me out. Finally around 10:30, 5 hours after he was born, they rolled him into my room. I was SO happy! I didn't sleep a wink that night, I was worried about him choking on amniotic fluid which did happen a couple times. Plus, the medication I was on made me feel so strange, when I closed my eyes weird things happened in my head. I would not be able to be a drug addict, that's for sure.
After all the drama of the day, I just laid there holding my 4th child and took him in. He was beautiful. So tiny but not the smallest even though he was 3 weeks early! He weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 20 inches long. He made a ton of noise in his sleep and while he nursed. Like a little squeaky mouse. He didn't sleep well on his back I'm sure because of the fluid he had in his throat, so I held him pretty much the whole 3 days we were in the hospital. We named him Benjamin Ladd Riley for a few reasons. We loved the name Benjamin and Benny (not so much Ben) and loved the story of Benjamin in the Bible. Benjamin was Rachel and Jacob's last son. How perfect is that?! And the name Ladd is very special to my heart. That is my Mimi's last name and because I never had a daughter to give her my Mom or Mimi's name in some form or another, I wanted to honor them with Benjamin's namesake. We had looked at other family names but at the end of the day, there are very few people in my life who had impacted me in the way that Marjorie Cobb Ladd has. I knew it would bring my mom joy and knew that Mimi is smiling in heaven.
We were anxious to get home, and my labs came back much better so we were released Monday. Flying home with an infant was interesting. I had a few errands I needed to run before we left so we booked a night flight back. It was interesting being a couple days post-op and walking around the mall and Babies R Us, but that's SO the way we Riley's roll. Maybe someday I will learn not to procrastinate so much! We got home late that night to 2 big brothers who were very excited to meet their baby (Jameson of course wasn't going to miss out on his beauty sleep). It was amazing being home, although a bit of a circus at times. I had prayed everyday for months leading up to my delivery that Benny would come safely and a little early and God answered those prayers. I only had to stay in Oahu 1 day before having him. God is good, His timing is so incredibly perfect it blows my mind.
The last 7 weeks has been awesome and super challenging. Benny is an amazing baby, we love him SO much! His brothers smother him a lot and he's a good sport. He slept 8 hours last night which is his record! He's not our best sleeper but still does great. And because he is the baby, he sleeps with us and gets to snack nurse all night while I sleep, so I'm not too much of a zombie. Our hands are so full! I think I have met my match with the number 4. It's a bizarre feeling to know that we are done having babies. I always wanted 4 kids but they came so much faster then I imagined they would. My body has been through a lot the last 6 years and I am looking forward to feeling like myself again. I am so blessed that I was able to conceive these children and deliver them safely, but it sure has been a lot. It's been a while since I wasn't pregnant or nursing! So as I enter into my 30th year of life this summer, I am embracing this next decade with so much anticipation of getting settled into a routine of having 4 and feeling healthy again. Chad and I still pinch ourselves that this is our life! I feel like just yesterday we were teenagers dreaming about all the kids we'd have and what their names might be. So grateful for these blessings and the abundance of love that fills our hearts and home.
Quick update on the big brothers-
Malakai and Elijah finished up Sports Camp at church last week, they had a blast and Elijah did well keeping up with his bro. They start a local soccer league this summer and then AYSO In August, we are very excited to see Elijah give it a go. Malakai's favorite is soccer and he is actually really good at the sport. Elijah, well, we will see. It should be interesting watching him take direction! Malakai officially starts Kindergarten this year, we have him in a couple programs where he will go to a "class" a couple days a week on top of all the extracurriculars he'll be doing like music, AWANA and sports. It's sure to be a busy year!
Baby Jamie is not such a baby anymore up next to Benjamin. He's incredibly adorable, but don't be fooled, he has us on our toes ALL the time! He is a walking tornado and is incredibly strong willed. He doesn't take any crap from anyone and usually picks a fight with Eli out of the blue, several times a day. Poor E, he never even sees it coming. For those of you who made it through this long-winded post, thank you for catching up with our crazy life. We are basically just surviving right now and think of our loved ones often, just haven't had much time to reach out and make the connection. But we love you all and thank you for your continued love and support to our crazy family of 6! xoxo
The first time we were able to hold him after delivery
The night we got home, Kai and Elijah demanded to hold him right away!
Jamie is learning to love the baby and not throw things at him :/
Sports camp drop-off with my crew
Benny boy, my baby joy!
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